My little shop

I'm excited! I finally have my Etsy shop up. :) At the moment, I'm only selling buttons, but I hope to add more things like keychains, jewlery and plushies. Please let me know what you think, tell your friends and shop!

Find it my shop here!

Clutter

Hey, all. Really sorry about the boring updates as of late. They're just about my life and such. Fail, right? Anywho, I promise to have a recipie or how-to up in the next few weeks. I'm cleaning out my room and am finding a lot of stuff and clothing that I want to re-purpose so I'll show you what I end up making.

But yeah.. my room is an UTTER mess. Day 2 of my cleaning marathon will continue today but I'm not sure if I should do it before or after I bake cupcakes. Oh, also... Happy National Cupcake day! I was going to swing by Sprinkles today to pick up a red velvet cupcake for free, but I ran out of time. Wah. :(

I'm also thinking about taking photography back up. I haven't been taking as many pictures as I used to. Speaking of, check out this sexy little thang:

Isn't it the prettiest little thing you've ever seen? It's the new Canon S90. It's basically a sleek digital camera and a DSLR all in one. Have I mentioned that it can save pics as JPEGs or RAW files? Saweeeeeeeeeeet. This is so on my Christmas list, despite the $400 price tag.

Yeah, as Dalila would say, I'm trying to get my shit together. Cleaning my room, getting back into photography, etc is all apart of my MASTER PLAN! The Master Plan consists of,

1. Clean up, set up "home office" and work/crafty area
   
2. Make stuff to sell on Etsy and set up shop
3. ??????
4. PROFIT!

And if that is successful, I will rent booths at 2011 anime cons around town. Sounds great, right? I know.

One last note, Lila and I finally recorded Episode 2 of Less Than Three. Click HERE to listen and download our silly podcast! Comments/questions/concerns/bitchery please be directed to lessthanthreepodcast@gmail.com. If you love us, fan us on Facebook, also don't forget to rate us on iTunes, even if it's just two stars.

Much love to all of you, cupcakes. Happy gift wrapping. :D

- Pepper Fishnetz

Half-dead

It's final's week for me. I must say, it's kicking my ass. I'm so horribly sleep-deprived. I'm actually a lot more accident prone than normal and I can tell I'm not at 100%. It's a little scary, to be honest. Anyway, today I have to start (and finish) packing since I'm moving out of my dorm FOREVER. I really am very happy but I'm finding it hard to express any emotion. :/

Random thought, I think I don't sound like myself in these blogs. They're really rather different from my old blogs on MySpace. Am I growing up or just being weird?

Anyway, random thought over. This morning I had my French final. On the way up to the classroom I fell up the stone set of stairs. At least two people saw me and were in VERY close proximity to me. Did either of them offer help? NO! Did either of them ask if I was okay? NO! I'm fairly accident prone and I don't expect people to really care when I stub my finger or something but I visibly and audibly fell onto my hands and knees.

Speaking of accidents,  do you want to see the way the truck was left after the wreck? Of course you do, you're human, you love disasters.

Also, here's the other car we crashed into.

Barely any dents. They were able to drive away once the police had filed their report.

It really does feel like the crash was forever ago, even if I still have slight neck pain every now and then and my bruises are a little tender. I feel like it didn't happen to me... Like I was in a movie.

All accidents aside, I'm up to my ears in to-do lists. I love making lists. I have so much going on in my head, I often have trouble sleeping because I try to remember everything. Making lists is good for me, I think. I also haven't completed my Christmas shopping/crafting. I haven't the slightest clue what to make for one of my best friends. Ugh! She's even more busy than I am, so I haven't hung out with her all that much this year. One of the reasons why 2009 sucked... which is another blog soon to come.

I probably had more to say, but I think I should sign off now.

Later, cupcakes.

- Pepper Fishnetz

So sick

Currently it is 7 a.m. and I am through cramming for a final which starts in an hour. I know I haven't blogged very often but, as always, life gets in the way. I will take this moment to express how awfully sick I am of school... and myself, but that's a different matter. I'll try to save the self-loathing for another blog.

My "happy-bubble" has slowly deflated. While I'm still content, and still in love, I don't think I'm quite nearly as in love with life as I was a few weeks ago. Over Thanksgiving break, I was in a car wreck. Turns out that our truck's brakes are liable to fail at any given moment. It just so happened to occur while we were on the highway. No one was seriously injured. My father, the driver, suffered a burn to his wrist from the air bag. My mother has a few small bruises, yet it seems I got the "worst" of the injuries. One long bruise stretching from the top of my shoulder down to the beginning of my bust and another prominent one along my lower stomach along with a few others that didn't show up as much. My bruises are now fairly faint and aren't nearly as tender as they were a week ago. I still suffer from ocassional neck pain, but nothing severe. My parents are planning to take legal action against the car company since there was a recall for our vehicle, yet we were never informed. Might I mention we took the truck to the company's maintenece service area nearly every month and not one soul told us about our vehicle's defects? I might post pictures of the results of the accident later if I feel up to it.

So, since the accident I've realized just how amazing my friends and family are. Everyone has been so nice, supportive and concerned. A friend of the family has lent us a van for us to drive around since the truck is caved-in. My boyfriend's sister called me from Arizona to make sure my parents and I were okay. My great aunt helped us pay for a rental vehicle to get back home, since we were still out of town when the accident happened. My friend's sister who was taking care of Freddie willingly took care of him for another night, assuring me that he'd be fine. My boyfriend, who had his and my plans together ruined by the accident was very understanding of the situation, and even though I could tell he was at least a little dissapointed, he kept me calm. Thank you all so very much. I love all of you so very much. I don't think I could thank all of you enough.

Aside from all of that, I'm simply tired. Tired of everything. I could elaborate but I remember promising to save the self-loathing for another day. I will say this... I wish I was something fantastic. I wish I was at least thin, or thinner. I wish I was really good at something. I wish I was better at being in a classroom, but I think after 14 years I'm just so sick of it, and so sick of me. I believe it's time for me to be myself again, it's time for me to be happy. Life is so often wasted on the negative and I'm sick of that too. Also... I think I might switch to wordpress. Thoughts?

There she goes again with fishnets on and dreadlocks in her hair

Hi, all! I'm working on the second installment of my blog on my identity. I'll try to have it up next week but I'm rather busy! School's getting hectic once again, I'm preparing for finals and my remaining papers and projects. I'm very excited about next semester though. I'm taking ZUMBA, ONLINE BIO, HISTORY, SPEECH, FRENCH! Yes, I'm very pumped. :D Wheee!

Also, today in my Mexican-American Studies class, we were talking about illegal Mexican immigrants coming into the United States. Our final paper is over the subject and it's a subject I think I'll do well in writing about. It's an issue I see on a day-to-day basis. Hell, a lot of my friends and family have LIVED it. So, in other words I'm also excited about writing this paper. Fail?

Oh goodness I'm so tired! I haven't been able to sleep well.. Anyone have any tips for me to fall asleep faster/more soundly?

Also, you might notice that my blog looks different and I go by a "different" name now. I didn't want to commit to a new alias as much as I liked MelonXXXCupcake. But... I'm Pepper Fishnetz. That's not my legal name, of course but it's a nickname that a lot of people know me by and I really love it. I was christened with this name about five years ago. I used to have a t-shirt that said "I'm a Pepper" referring to the drink, Dr. Pepper, so my friend started calling me Pepper. I also used to wear fishnets all the time. And when I mean all the time, I think I wore them 3/5 school days. I loved fishnets! I still do, but I haven't worn any in ages because they tear so easy and I don't have enough money to buy a new pair every week. Anyway, my friend noticed this and said, "I should call you Fishnets instead." Then I said, "That should be my last name.. I should be Pepper Fishnets... No, Fishnets with a Z!" And that is how I became Pepper. What's funny is that a lot of people refer to me as Pepper. Even my boyfriend has done it! XD Anyway... I switched my Twitter feed (over on the right of the home page of this blog) to my Pepper Fishnetz account. :)

My to-do list is ridiculous! I need to gather all the Black Friday ads I need and pick out what I'm buying for who (no running around like a chicken with my head cut off this year!) and what I'm making for everyone. I need to get this done like... tomorrow. I won't have time on any other day. Friday, I'm going to see New Moon, hopefully. Saturday I might be going out with my boyfriend and attending an event where Etsy sellers will be.. selling. XD Sunday I might be doing a podcast. And next week I'll be getting ready for spending Thanksgiving with my family that's out of town. I'm sooooo excited for that too! Our family has grown a lot in the last year and the thought of being in a house with tens of cool, friendly, loving friends and family is very warming to a girl who grew up as an only child.

Speaking of podcast... My friend Dalila and I are starting one! Our show is called Less Than Three because it's this "<3", a heart and since it's just two of us, we're less than three! Get it? Cute, right? You can find us on our Podbean Blog, LessThanThree.podbean.com or download/subscribe to us via iTunes here. I'm really excited about this too. I'm just high on life right now! Anyway, our podcast is just us ranting about things we like or don't like, usually in a comedic fashion. We only have one done and we'll do our first official episode this weekend so look out for it!

Alright, I think we're all caught up. Have a lovely rest of the week, cupcakes.

:)

-Pepper Fishnetz!

My identity

I really should update more often, but I often get inspired late at night and next thing I know I'm crawling into bed. Nyeh. Well, anywho, time for the blog.

As far as my life, not too much has happened. I'm trying to keep positive and I'm really excited about my future. I'm hoping to get an apartment by next fall, but we will see how that goes. I still have quite a bit of research to do before any of my ideas will be finalized. I will say this though, I applied for a job yesterday at a local cupcake bakery! I won't tell you which one it is yet, but I was told to expect a call today.. It's 3pm... Still no call. :( Keep your fingers crossed for me?

Lately in my Mexican-American studies class (which is kicking my ass), we've been talking about Chicanos and how they identify themselves. They are both Mexican and American, yet they are neither one... It got me thinking. What is my identity? On paper, I'm American but I don't really think I'm a traditional American. Racially, I identify as Mexican, but I'm not a traditional Mexican either. In fact, I sometimes feel ostrasized by my own race, and these things that make me different from other Mexicans make me different from other people as well. I'm just so... not conventional? How should I explain... A "traditional" Mexican-American girl of my age enjoys going to parties, she drinks, she likes designer clothes, her favorite movie is Scarface and she tYpeS LiKe DiS!!!1111

I'm not like that at all. I'm straight-edge, I like staying in and watching movies, while I like some designer clothes I'd rather buy something out of Nylon than Vogue, my favorite movie is Constantine and I type mostly correctly. How did I turn out so different? I'm not trying to "bash" girls that act the way I described earlier, I'm just trying to understand how I'm so uncool. I find it really hard to relate to people my age a lot of times. They either think I'm too immature or that I act too grown up. It makes it hard to make new friends. It was easier in middle and high school because I went to a magnet school and everyone there was at least a little nerdy even if they didn't show it.

What makes me different? My mother is the breadwinner of my family, for one. I'm an only child. I like to read and listen to rock music. I like cupcakes and I love baking. My favorite things include vampires, rainbows, skulls, hearts, stars and stand-up comedy. I'm not really punk or emo anymore. I'm not a hipster either... At least I don't think I am. I'm not a complete anime freak... I don't watch it enough. 

So what am I?

Remember, remember

Happy afternoon everyone. :) It's Guy Fawkes Day! How am I celebrating? Ideally, I'd watch V for Vendetta along with a bottle of Welch's sparkling grape juice (I party hardcore, you see) but I have neither and am broke and carless so I will most likely just bum around for the day.

In other news, I have a new pet! His name is Freddie (after Freddie Mercury, of course) and he's a chihuahua. :D Here he is:

Don't tell him but he has a cat's collar. Even that's too big for him! He also likes to wear things such as sweaters. How did I manage to get a a chihuahua? A friend of the family inherited him some how but they travel/aren't home enough and just couldn't take care of him. They were going to take him to the pound. :( Couldn't let that happen, so now he lives with us. :) He used to fancy me a bit more than my parents but seeing as how I'm on campus more than I'm at home he's cozied up to my dad a lot.

Remember I said I was making stencils? Well, I have a picture of one I made the other night.

It's Gloomy Bear!

It was relatively easy to make. I found a picture of Gloomy and opened it in a photo editor (I use Microsoft Digital Image), converted it to black & white, then set it to high contrast. I didn't want to fuss with having "loose" pieces like the inside of his ears or his "snout", so I placed some white rectangles to avoid it and this is how the stencil came out looking on the cardstock before I cut it out with my (new!) Exacto knife:

Feel free to save it and use it yourself. I might be making more of my own soon and I'll show you what I stencil up with Gloomy Bear. :)

Speaking of Gloomy Bear... guess what my boyfriend sent to my house as a Halloween present?

Two Gloomy Bears! I had sent him a link a few days before over IM about these Gloomys being on sale on the Gloomy Bear Store. It's one of the best gifts I've gotten in awhile. I really really love them. :)

In other news I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do as far as my education. Right now the plan is to take MWF classes next semester and commute from home, but after talking with my parents I might end up renting a home or apartment near by, but we will see how things turn out.

Anyway, have a happy rest of your Thursday and Guy Fawkes day, cupcakes!

-melonXXXcupcake

My undeclaration

Hello all! I hope you all had a FANtabulous Halloween and had a bunch of candy. My Halloween was rather uneventful but still rather pleasant. :) I had a chance to go to my local The Cupcakery, so expect a review soon.

Well, aside from eating cupcakes and attending a play on Halloween I finally got a chance to meet an adviser from a culinary school which shall remain unnamed for now. I haven't had the chance to blog about this just yet BUT after thinking long and hard, I came up with my plan. My current plan is to go to culinary school and still work towards a BA in English through an online degree. The best of both worlds in my opinion. Anyway, I met with an adviser and I will let you know that he doesn't know jack shit about cooking. The admissions team is made up of people with management and communications degrees. Their job is to sell the school. So, we run into the director of admissions while on the tour. He asks what I'm currently doing. I tell him which school I go to and that I'm undeclared. His eyebrows raised. He then continued to almost scold me, saying that I need to really know what I want to do and not waste my parents money. As if I was some trust-fund brat that got everything she ever wanted. PLEASE. I hate how he put me in a box after only speaking to me for a few seconds. I am PASSIONATE about baking. I love cupcakes and I love having the idea of having my own business/bakery. I am not a dumb little girl. I realize that reaching my ultimate goal of owning and running my own cupcake bakery will be hard and it will take a lot of time and discipline. This idea of going to culinary school is not something I decided on a whim. Also, I'm not WASTING my parents' money. I have private and federal loans in MY name and any (minimal) money they have paid I plan to pay back once my final loan application clears. I really wanted to just punch this man in the nuts. Of course, I played the pleasant, complacent doormat I always am, kept my mouth and my hands/fists by my side. I seriously felt very insulted.

ANYWAY! On another note, I have been working on some stencils (I'm a little obsessed), so look out for that blog also. It's very late and I'm sure that I have like two quizzes in the morning. :/

Goodnight, cupcakes!

-melonXXXcupcake

Teenage hopes

I finally remembered what I was going to blog about today. Well, how to start? I'm sitting in my dorm, listening to Feist and... contemplating. I'm a college student. I'm facing debt six months after graduation. So, I wonder... why am I doing this again? It wasn't *really* my choice to go to college, but I suppose I was brainwashed and guilted into it... My parents said that I didn't have to go if I didn't want to.. but I knew... if I didn't they'd be at least a little dissapointed. In my family, it was just assumed I was going to college. I knew how I'd be percieved if I decided not to go. "Pepper's not going to college? But she's so smart!" I might be "smart" but I'm no genius and I'm very lazy.

And of course, everyone tells you that you'll never get a good job, or make money, or live comfortably unless you go to college... So, I went, and here I am. Miserable. I'm not doing very well in my classes. They don't especially interest me. And... I'm struggling to make ends meet. Why did I agree to this? Why was I forced to make such a big of a decision at the ripe age of 17? Why did I have to invest in my very uncertain future? What if college really isn't for me?

This situation doesn't make me happy anymore. College was great... a year ago. I'm so over this now. I feel very defeated just being here. When I'm home.. when I'm with my friends or my boyfriend it feels so much more right. When I'm crafting, blogging, baking or partaking in some photography I feel sane. School brings out the worst in me. So, what do I do now?

It's not that college isn't hard or that it's not challenging enough. I can do it, but I don't want to. Does this make me a bad person? It's not like I party, drink, smoke or anything that a normal college student does. That's not my scene at all... but I don't know. I'm lost. I'm... not so sure about things now. I know what I want in life, but do I have to have a diploma to achieve it? I just DON'T know. Hell, what am I even going to be when I "grow up"? I DON'T know. There's too many ifs and buts here and I don't like it all. I and many of the other 19 year olds out there were cornered into planning their whole life out before even being able to legally buy a nudie magazine.. Something isn't right here.

I'm out like Ellen Degeneres on the cover of Time Magazine, cupcakes. Until later.

-melonXXXcupcake

A list, Christmas ideas and Halloween woes

Well, a few days ago I said that I might share my list of upcoming projects I want to someday finish soooooooooo I have the list here for you to see. Hopefully I can do a few how-tos from here:

• Tulle skirt
• Lace-y Bag
• Stenciled T-shirt (I actually have a few designs in mind)
• Glittery Boots
• Glittery Shoes (in the works!)
• Skinny Jeans
• Cute Monsters
• Tapemeasure Headband
• Fitted Shirt
• Cassette Shirt
• Absinthe Lamp (in the works!)
• Rainbow Crayons
• Cupcake Toppers
• Cat Ear Hair Clips
• Cat Ear Hoodie
• "Me" Doll
• Crafty Tool Belt (especially excited for this one)
• Gummy Bear Bracelet
• Oversized Bow(s)
• Felt Strawberries
• Cooking Mama Apron (that will be a challenge)
• Strawberry Bag
• Razor Necklace

So, as you can see, I've got a lot on my list. I haven't really got too much time to do these things while I'm in school, much less have the money for it but hopefully around Christmas time when I go home for winter I'll have time to take on some of these projects. Also, I'm planning on handmaking most of the gifts for my friends this year so we will see how that goes!

On another note, it's almost Halloween, my faaaaaaaaaaavorite holiday, but I have nothing really planned and I haven't had time to get my costume together. :( I want to be Flo, the girl from the Progressive commercials, but... just been really busy. I need a pair of white pants, a white polo shirt, an apron, a brunette wig, a headband and big false eyelashes. Ugh! I really love Halloween. I'm hoping this year won't be lame, but I will keep you updated, especially if I have time to shop for my costume essentials. Alrighty, that's the blog for today... unless I get the blogging bug again. Jeez, I'm lame. :/

Bye, cupcakes!

-melonXXXcupcake

A preview of things to come

It's a short blog today but I just wanted to show you a little peak of things I have in store.

Ooooh, shiny!

Here's me with a plastic flintlock pistol I got for a dollar. I plan to mod it for a cosplay costume.

Are you excited? Probably not, but I am. I love crafting and such. :) Also, I'm trying to fix up my blog's formatting. I got tired of the old layout... even though it wasn't all that old. Anywho, that's all for tonight.

Later, cupcakes!

-melonXXXcupcake

Crafts & Food. Two loves.

I've recently caught the craft-fever. I'm a maniac for crafty things. Just to show you how bad I am, here's a couple of things I'm working on:

A felt monster dolly mock-up I made. I plan on making one of these for my "niece".

Also, a bag I'm working on. It's still in progress.

I have a very long list of projects (maybe I'll share it?) I hope to take on soon when an influx of capital comes in and I can go on a Hobby Lobby shopping spree. When this will be I have no earthly idea but I hope it's soon. Once this is accomplished, I want to share some of the projects with you and maybe even take on a how-to... or two.

Anywho, last weekend I took a few pictures when I went out to have dinner and dessert with my parents and my boyfriend. Just thought I'd let you have a look:

Dessert spoons from Paciugo. If you've never had gelato, you've never lived.

My boyfriend got sushi for dinner. I'm not a big fan, but it it's really pretty!

Until later, cupcakes.

-melonXXXcupcake

Thrift store finds

I don't quite remember what day that my friend and I went down to the local thrift store but we did and I saw some interesting things. Want to see what they are? Of course you do.

Apparently, Coke is IT.

They mean it.

Yes, that is what you think it looks like.

A bag... shaped like a butt. I almost wanted to buy it just for the sheer craziness it embodied.

A faux Dooney and Burke bag with cherries on it.

Here is Tracey modeling the Rock Band t-shirt I got for a dollar. I reconned it, see below.

T.U.K. shoes that I fell in love with. A five dollar find.

Here's the reconned shirt. :)

And here I am wearing the T.U.K. shoes that I <3.


That's all, cupcakes!

-melonXXXcupcake

A very fun filled day

So, I've been trying to catch up on my blogging. I still have two drafts to finish which are missing a few pictures that are on my external hard drive which is sitting on my desk in my dorm. And also I have two blogs that are based on some thoughts I've had recently. Anyway, yesterday I went out my my parents and my boyfriend, which is fast becoming a ritual that I'm very much okay with. We went out to the Bishop Arts District and to Ft. Worth. Here I have a couple of pictures I took with my phone at the Soda Gallery, which is worth a visit and also some from the Water Gardens.

This is just outside the door. Awesome, right?

Sodas as far as the eye can see.

Yes, I was that close.

Pablo and I climbed the "mountain". It was quite a long way down.

That's all for now, cupcakes. :)

-melonXXXcupcake

Pretty doesn't mean good

So, anyone who knows me knows that I absolutely LOVE cupcakes. I'm a fanatic. Even my pseudonym has the word "cupcake" in it. Well, some time ago my good friend, Lila mentioned to me that famous cupcaketieer Sprinkles had a location here in town, so last weekend I took a visit, especially since I follow Sprinkles on Twitter (twitter.com/sprinkles) and every day they give out a secret word that gets you a free cupcake. Free and cupcake in the same sentence? I'm a goner. So, anyway, here are some pictures of the cupcakes and my review.

The packaging is very, very cute. I wanted a sticker for my day planner.

The cupcakes in their natural state. Here you see, clockwise from top left, Vanilla, Dark Chocolate, Strawberry, and Lemon.

Vanilla-y goodness?

The most delicious of the bunch: Red Velvet. I got this cutie for FREE.

Strawberry.

Bye, cupcakes!

As for my thoughts on the cupcakes?
I'm very sad to say that I was not very pleased with my purchase. Each cupcake is a whopping $3.25. Yes, they're big and have a heaping helping of frosting BUT I just didn't like how they tasted, except for the Red Velvet which was very, very yummy. For me, a cupcake has to be the whole package. The cupcake and the frosting have to work together to make this confection a celebration of flavors. The cupcakes tasted very bland with no real taste, but the frosting was very rich and buttery. After a couple of bites, I was sick of it. The strawberry cupcake tasted like banana bread. I like banana bread but I was expecting strawberry. The lemon was also pretty good, but I had the same frosting problem. The only time I'd go back to Sprinkles is for a free Red Velvet cupcake. So, I will most likely be there again very soon.

Later, Cupcakes!

-melonXXXcupcake

Right from the squirrel's mouth

Alright, it's update time and finally, I have pictures! I found my camera's battery charger and took a few pictures in the last week.

Here is a squirrel I took a picture of on my way to class. I happened to catch him with food in his mouth.

More another time, Cupcakes.

-melonXXXcupcake

A Journey Begins

Yes, I am posting AGAIN today. I simply couldn't go without jotting this down and sharing it with you all. When I say you all, I mean the 2-5 of you that read my blog. By the way, thank you for reading. :) Feel free to comment.

Anyhow, I just had dinner (breakfast actually... so is that Brinner?) with my parents and I came up with the greatest idea. I should finally set up an Etsy shop. I'm thrilled about it actually. Very, very thrilled. I've wanted to have a store for a long time, but of course haven't exactly had the kind of financial backing to do so. This is perfect. There is no rent to pay, no bills to pay. I've been in a very crafty mood lately and am simply ADDICTED to Cut Out and Keep. I think it'd be fairly easy for me to churn out homemade trinkets, since it's essentially my hobby to do so already. The only part that scares me is... the SHIPPING! How much do I charge? How do I ship? Aaaaah!

Your input is greatly appreciated. I'm off to make an Etsy account.

Thanks, cupcakes

-melonXXXcupcake

I'll Try To Love Again

I like to stay positive most of the time. I've spent too much of my life being sad. It's one of the things I realized this summer. Sadness... is silly. I have no real use for it. Life is about being happy. At least, that's how I see it.

Despite all of this, I've been stricken with a dose of what one would call, depression. It's not too severe, just... very annoying. A situation has come up that has urged me to reassess the way I deal with problems that directly affect me. I was hurt recently. I won't say by whom, but... someone who is very near and dear to my heart. They pulled me into a problem, which wasn't really mine to begin with and although I was fine with it, what really upset me is the way I was treated upon our first meeting after the "incident". I was invisible. I was nothing. After everything we'd been through, I seemed to be that disposable. Sitting there, I racked my brain, trying to think of what I had possibly done wrong. I felt terrible.

He has apologized, though... I didn't think the apology was very genuine. It seems like the apology was forced and twisted out of "obligation". Now, the dilemma lies... Am I ridiculous to still be upset? Am I being too dramatic about this? All I know is that my heart was truly broken. And when your heart is broken by a friend, that is when it cuts the deepest.

I do not forgive very easily and at this moment, I am holding two very big grudges. Should I just let my guard down and forgive? Or stick to my guns and stay this way, with one less friend? In my mind, it'd be easier to pretend I no longer cared. But is that necessarily the best thing to do? I still care about my friend, but if I'm so easily thrown away... is it a relationship worth salvaging?

Until later, cupcakes...

-melonXXXcupcake

My Love

I miss writing so very much. I haven't been able to write anything of worth in a very long time. I usually don't complain about this, but today the weather reminded me that this time of the season is when I wrote the most. This was the time of year that I was most inspired. There is something so nostalgic about a chilly breeze and freezing fingertips.

Writing defined me. I was a writer. I wrote. That's what I did, that's what I was, that's what I always was going to do forever and ever and get paid for my passion. But things haven't panned out like that at all. I've lost my muse somewhere along the way. I've had writer's block before, but nothing nearly this severe. This is very different.

I tend to hide it... but I am devastated about not being able to write. It really pains me. Writing was my love. I was so good at it and it came so easily. Writing helped me deal with my problems and issues. It was there for me to pour my heart and soul into and I did, time and time again.

I don't know how to get it back... and it makes me really sad.

-melonXXXcupcake

A sleepy blog update

Hello, all! So sorry that I haven't updated, though I doubt that anyone
actually reads this. I am doing really well albeit tired. I've been at
an anime convention! I'll try to update with pictures soon. That's all
for now. I'll leave you with a picture of a cupcake, cupcakes.
Goodnight!

-melonXXXcupcake

Things That Make Me Happy

It's update time! Still no pictures, sorry. :(

Well, I had lined out several things to rant about, but I will save that for another day when I'm feeling more eloquent. Today, my only grievances will be that very few of my friends actively blog. I wish more did. Anywho, aside from that today's post will be a list I compiled a few days ago. It's a list of things that make me happy, in more-or-less of order from greatest to least, but essentially, all of the things listed will make me glow. I will now share it with all of you:

• My Special Someone
• Cute, random texts messages from said Special Someone
• Cupcakes
• Baking
• Being properly groomed
• Having my hair nicely done
• Smiling
• Being nice to people
• Finding something I lost
• Watching the Sex and the City movie (watched it 5 times this summer)
• Soda in glass bottles
• Being organized
• Buying/reading a new issue of Nylon (C)
  
• Having enough sleep
• Having really clean teeth
• Thoughtful gifts, especially when it's not warranted
• Sweet dreams
• Breakfast
• Coffee Good coffee
  
• Good music
• Having my nails done
• Genuine compliments
• Rain
• Cute kittens
• Having on an outfit that I like
• Good pizza
• Lava Crunch Cakes from Dominos TM

Well, that's my list of things that make me happy. I encourage you do make one too, and try to do/see one of the things on your list and make your day happier. :)

-melonXXXcupcake

Just a boring update

Hello all. I have not yet found my camera's battery charger... Though, to be honest, I haven't actively searched for it.

Today was a day for hanging out with my parents. We went to my favorite breakfast spot, where they have absolutely THE best coffee in the entire world. I can drink three cups easily. We also went to Old Navy because I was in dire need of some jeans. Of course, being my size it made it a bit difficult, but I found two pairs that will do. Let it be known that I was dressed very sloppily, yet still a woman mistook me for being an employee. I look like I work at Old Navy. Good thing or bad thing?

Also, we took a drive out to the lake around dinner time and had What-a-burger there. Oh... also we went to see Taking Woodstock which didn't seem to be a very long movie, but it was plenty entertaining.

I'm going back to my dorm tomorrow and I honestly can't wait. :D

So long, cupcakes.

-melonXXXcupcake

Tiny burgers take over the kitchen

So, today I cooked. Here are the results. I was slightly disappointed that the recipe did not yield as much as it said it would, but it all worked out. Also, I did not anticipate this amount of shrinkage:

That is all, cupcakes. I'll update tomorrow if possible. :)

-melonXXXcupcake

A decision was made

Happy Wednesday all. I hope you're having a good day and aren't ridiculously tired like I am. I'm literally going crazy over school. The first weeks are shaky and like a whirlwind. Oh well! I'm sure I can handle it.

Today I got myself a Starbucks drink, so I am very happy about that and I'm good to go for a few hours. My initial plan was to nap when I got out of class, but that didn't happen. I ended up going to hang out with the guys for awhile and down a sodium-filled lunch of Golden Chick chicken tenders. Then went to Target to pick up the materials for WHITE CASTLE-LIKE SLIDERS! I decided on making these because they look delicious and easy. I got the How-To from Big Red Kitchen. I will post pictures tomorrow when I attempt to make them. :/ Let it be known that I am a novice cook. VERY novice.

That's all. Good evening, cupcakes.

-melonXXXcupcake

Grace and Poise isn't me

Hello, all. There are no pictures today, just a blog entry. :) I really want to try to update more regularly as I don't blog nearly as often as I used to. My primary blog was on MySpace, but I had very few readers, and now, most of my friends have abandonded their MySpace, leaving me with even FEWER readers. Before MySpace, it was Xanga, but I had to give that up as well. It's time for a fresh start on Blogger.

School has finally started for me, though I seem to have misplaced my camera's battery charger. Gah. I'm upset about that as I wanted to take pictures this week. Oh well. Things seem to be falling into place this semester. I'm really feeling good about it. Jeez, I'm tired. >.< Today on my personal Twitter account I mused that it would be really neat if there was a punk rock craft blog that was regularly updated. I found a few but they haven't been posted on in awhile which, makes me sad. I love crafts! Especially when they're easy and cheap. ;)

I've decided that I'm cooking for me and the guys on Thursday. I'm hopefully going to have a chance to go to Target tomorrow and pick up the food items that I need. I'm not sure yet what I'm going to make. I found two good recipes and I'll post about my decision tomorrow. Also, I'll try to take pictures with my iPhail of the cooking process and final result. That's all for today, have a good rest of the day, cupcakes.

-MelonXXXCupcake

Outside with Ivan and Yotsuba

Alright. I know I don't have many followers, but I will pretend that I do. :)

Another thing I must address... I have no idea how I used to format my blog posts. I'm kind of scared to post a picture because I'm afraid it'll screw everything up! Well, I suppose we'll try.

Here is a batch of photos that Ivan (http://whathappenswheniflipthisswitch.blogspot.com/) and I took one afternoon. They feature his beloved Yotsuba figurine. Enjoy!

I suppose that's all for now. I'll post a real update tomorrow, if possible!

The sweetness will not be concerned with me

Today's post is of a carmel apple served at lunch today. It's resting on a list of cupcake ideas I can't wait to try. :)

The "About Me" Post

Okay, well, this is me. I like Starbucks, and coffee in general, as you can see. I'm a baking fanatic. It's one of my new passions. I'm not a typical girl at all. I also like to write, and music is a big part of my life. This blog will feature some of the photography I do. It's not too great, but hopefully I will get better. I might also make "normal" blog posts from time to time. We'll see? I hope you'll enjoy my blog.

-MelonXXXCupcake

Starting over again...

Okay, so my first attempt at this blog FAILED pretty hard, but here we go again. Mmkay? Mmkay. Here are pictures from the last 2-3 weeks, I really don't keep count.

Monsieur Angry Orange.

Vanilla and Chocolate cupcakes I made for my class one day.

Rosebush.

Hannah Montana Day!

My insane collection of cake mixes.

Bunny cupcakes I made for Easter.

Brownie bites!

Vibrant Eggs. :)

Something someone had written on the picnic table outside of my Theater class.

Natalia!

My mother bought us a giant cupcake pan from Wilton. I was pretty stoked.

Isn't it pretty?

Didn't come out the way I wanted it, but hey, we'll get 'em next time, eh?

Have you ever seen a neon pink "Incident Ahead" sign? Neither had I until this, and I had to take a picture of it.

I love you cupcakes. Tasted terrible, but they were pretty!

I was a bit bored... Also, I bought a tiny container of Play Doh for a dollar. If you were wondering, the color is "Tropical Pink".


And now we are all caught up to speed. :D I'll be posting again soon!