So sick

Currently it is 7 a.m. and I am through cramming for a final which starts in an hour. I know I haven't blogged very often but, as always, life gets in the way. I will take this moment to express how awfully sick I am of school... and myself, but that's a different matter. I'll try to save the self-loathing for another blog.

My "happy-bubble" has slowly deflated. While I'm still content, and still in love, I don't think I'm quite nearly as in love with life as I was a few weeks ago. Over Thanksgiving break, I was in a car wreck. Turns out that our truck's brakes are liable to fail at any given moment. It just so happened to occur while we were on the highway. No one was seriously injured. My father, the driver, suffered a burn to his wrist from the air bag. My mother has a few small bruises, yet it seems I got the "worst" of the injuries. One long bruise stretching from the top of my shoulder down to the beginning of my bust and another prominent one along my lower stomach along with a few others that didn't show up as much. My bruises are now fairly faint and aren't nearly as tender as they were a week ago. I still suffer from ocassional neck pain, but nothing severe. My parents are planning to take legal action against the car company since there was a recall for our vehicle, yet we were never informed. Might I mention we took the truck to the company's maintenece service area nearly every month and not one soul told us about our vehicle's defects? I might post pictures of the results of the accident later if I feel up to it.

So, since the accident I've realized just how amazing my friends and family are. Everyone has been so nice, supportive and concerned. A friend of the family has lent us a van for us to drive around since the truck is caved-in. My boyfriend's sister called me from Arizona to make sure my parents and I were okay. My great aunt helped us pay for a rental vehicle to get back home, since we were still out of town when the accident happened. My friend's sister who was taking care of Freddie willingly took care of him for another night, assuring me that he'd be fine. My boyfriend, who had his and my plans together ruined by the accident was very understanding of the situation, and even though I could tell he was at least a little dissapointed, he kept me calm. Thank you all so very much. I love all of you so very much. I don't think I could thank all of you enough.

Aside from all of that, I'm simply tired. Tired of everything. I could elaborate but I remember promising to save the self-loathing for another day. I will say this... I wish I was something fantastic. I wish I was at least thin, or thinner. I wish I was really good at something. I wish I was better at being in a classroom, but I think after 14 years I'm just so sick of it, and so sick of me. I believe it's time for me to be myself again, it's time for me to be happy. Life is so often wasted on the negative and I'm sick of that too. Also... I think I might switch to wordpress. Thoughts?