I see what you did thar

So this is just a silly post. Don't know if you're aware, but Blogger is AWESOME and provides blog stats that I can use to track how people find my blog. Sometimes I find funny stuff, like this that I'm going to share with you.

Click to enlarge. Giggity.

Blogger is linked to Google, so whenever some one searches for certain things and click on a link to my blog I get to see what keywords they used. One person searched for "everything that annoys me in one big picture". Ahahaha, I'm not really sure what they were expecting to find... Is that a song lyric or something? Most times I get blog-clicks through Google Images which means, most people aren't reading my blog, they're just looking for a picture.

I do want to thank my friends Yaneth and Laquilla for +1-ing my Mug Cake post. Glad you enjoyed it. :D Okay, I'm out.

Stay excellent.

~C.M. xx

The Infamous Mug Cake

If you're on the internet a lot, more than likely you've stumbled upon THE MUG CAKE. It's a cake, made in the microwave, under 5 minutes. Sounds like a lie, right? A delicious lie. But then you see pictures of successful mug cakes like:

From Southern With a Twist.

AND

From Zoom Yummy.

Looks SO legit. I tried about a year or two ago and... failed. It came out gloopy and tasteless. Being a fan of cake and convenience I wasn't going to let this die. Not when other people around the world are having their cake and eating it to... out of a damn mug no less!

I tried again a couple nights ago with box cake mix since I didn't have any kitchen staples on hand for the recipe I really wanted to try. I followed the directions for the box cake mix mug cake and it came out like....

EW! KILL IT WITH FIRE! DON'T LET IT MARRY!

It came out looking like Tyrannosaurus-rex brains. The consistency was BLECH, as in chewy and weird, like cold oatmeal which is disgusting if you've never had to put that in your mouth. I wasn't about to let this die, though. So yesterday I went out and bought the ingredients needed for this particular recipe. I even bought a new can of Baker's Joy. Rolled up my sleeves, donned my apron. I followed it to a tee. And it still came out as gloop. I did some research and some people (and vegans) tried the same recipe without any eggs. DUH. OF COURSE. Have you ever cooked eggs in a microwave? They come out with a weird consistency. Plus, by cutting out the egg you also cut out the (slim) likelihood of getting Salmonella. This is why you don't eat raw cookie dough or cake batter. Here's how my mug cake came out without the egg:

CHOCOLATE, GET IN MY MOUF.

It actually tasted like cake... or more like a brownie-type cake. That white stuff is whipped icing I put on it while it was still hot. I was too excited to really let it cool. Next time I'll probably put Cool Whip and strawberries on top. If you wish to take on this endevor here's the recipe from Instructables. Note: The recipe on the site and recipe in the Instructables YouTube video differ slightly. I used the one from the site.

5-Minute Chocolate Cake
adapted from Instructables

• coffee mug
• 4 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 4 tablespoons sugar
• 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa
• 2 tablespoons whisked egg  Don't do it unless you want plasma-fied puke.
• 3 tablespoons milk
• 3 tablespoons oil
• splash vanilla or other flavoring 
• 3 tablespoons chocolate chips

Mix all ingredients in together, following the order of the list EXCEPT for the chocolate chips. All mixed? YOU SURE? NO FLOUR UNMIXED? Okay, now you can add in the chocolate chips. It says three tablespoons but really you can add how ever much you want. I also added a sprinkle of instant coffee in because I like coffee and I'm a responsible adult, thank you very much. Also, I find that a FORK is best to use, or even a tiny spatula, that way flour won't get stuck on. Microwave it for 2 minutes and 30 seconds depending on how high your microwave goes, might take less, might take more. My microwave has one setting: OBLITERATE. After that, you eat it! The mug cake... is not a lie.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Stay excellent, until next time.

~C.M.

 

SHIT THAT ANNOYS ME: Nomophobia

Today at school after my BCIS class, which is one of the most mind-numbing courses I've ever taken, I passed by a bulletin board and a report on NOMOPHOBIA was pinned to it. I stopped to skim it. If you're wondering, nomophobia is the faux-scientific term for the fear of losing one's mobile (phone). Silly. After watching Glee and New Girl I stuck around to watch the local news and they did a story (if you can call it that) on this very subject! What a damn coinkidink, y'all. If you'd like to watch it and rot some brain cells and marvel at some of the biggest hair this side of El Rio Grande you can click on this:

CALL ME CRAZY but this all sounds like a bunch of bullshit. If I feel any anxiety over losing my phone it's because 1. it's expensive to replace and mostly 2. it'd upset my parents. My dad's even teased me for having my phone on me all the time. It's his own fault, anyway. My father is MEXICAN and high-strung. He NEEDS to know where I am at all times and freaks out whenever I don't answer my phone. His default thinking leads him to believe I'm in peril at all moments that I'm not within his sight. Oh, and I guess I'm 5 years old too. Bah.

Stay excellent, you guys.

~C.M. xx

Things that are awesome have happened to me

In internet years I've been blogging for quite some time. My first blog was at 14, on Xanga. If you want the link you can FORGET ABOUT IT. Teen angst is best relived never. Then, when that started to go on the out and out I picked up blogging on MySpace. Apparently, unbeknownst to me people actually read my stupid ramblings. Once I even got into a debate with a girl from school in the comments section over whether or not porn empowers or objectifies women to the point where said girl deleted me as a friend and effectively blocked me on Facebook. Powerful stuff, man.

So through my journey of blogging I've discovered the world of what I like to call THE BLOGGER ELITE. People who turned their blogging into jobs or used their blogs to further their small business. I guess all along that's the life I wish for. I want income and adoring fans just by writing, by being myself in word form. ANYWAY, I'm getting all long-winded and look-off-into-the-distance-and-be-deep-y. Among the many bloggers I admire (Keiko Lynn, The Pioneer Woman, on occasion Gala Darling) TWO of them, probably- no, definitely- my favorites have mentioned me on Twitter.

One is the Crafty Chica, Kathy Cano-Murillo. I'm not really sure how I initially heard about her, but as she's 1. crafty and 2. Mexican and proud, finding her was inevitable. If you're into crafts at all, glitter or books about crafty latinas then you should definitely check her out. Now, what transpired a few days ago is this: THE Crafty Chica liked a couple pictures I posted on Instagram. Honestly it could have been a total mistake but damn it I was going to relish it! So I mentioned what happened on Twitter. Then... Kathy replied to me... and said that she loves my blog. YES. THIS BLOG. I KNOW, RIGHT? ZOMGWTFBBQ? LOOK, EVIDENCE!

She also said that I'm AMAZING! I totally spazzed out when I saw this. Kathy, if you're reading this, just know that you totally made my week/month! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

And if that wasn't enough, the other day I decided to catch up on Bakerella's blog since it'd be awhile since I read it and I came across her 2011's wrap up post. (If you don't know Bakerella, she's JUST the creator of cake pops. Yeah, CAKE POPS. She also makes a bunch of other cute confectioneries, so she is a MUST read.) In the post it she described her struggle with a condition that forced her to get hemo-dialysis which is dialysis for your blood, as in, your blood is sucked out, cleaned, and then returned to your body. Terri-fying. Luckily her mother was a match and she was able to get a kidney transplant from her, saving her life and keeping her off hemo-dialysis. When she talked about how thankful she was for everything and everyone who helped her through it I couldn't help but think about how my mom had to endure chemotherapy a few years ago. Going to the cancer treatment center everyday was always a little sad, seeing people so sick and weak. I've never really liked the idea of organ donation, but after reading Bakerella's post, I was moved... and yes, got teary. I think that organ donation is something that I really want to do. I mentioned it on twitter and got a reply from Bakerella.

*hugs Bakerella back* She's the one of the cutest women on the web. Please check her out, you won't regret it. :D

~C.M. xx

SHIT THAT ANNOYS ME: Santana Lopez

Yeah, yeah, I watch Glee, let's get ALLLL those giggles out now. Are you done? Okay. So for my second (I think it's second?) installment of SHIT THAT ANNOYS ME I've decided to blog about a fictional character, Santana Lopez of Glee. I originally planned on posting about this right before the (spoiler alert) episode in which everyone finds out Santana is a lesbian and Finn, of all people makes her realize that she doesn't have to be alone in her struggle and for one lone moment we're lead to believe that the bitch has a heart. Don't get me wrong, Naya Rivera is probably the sweetest person, and hell can she sing, but the way her character has been written rubs me all kind of wrong.

If I remember correctly, Santana is supposed to be Mexican. Naya is partially of Puerto Rican descent for starters. Her Spanish... is not that great. To me, if one is going to portray a Mexican character on TV who is supposedly proud of her roots, wouldn't she be able to speak it a bit better?

Santana is mean, vindictive and manipulative. It's like the only way she can communicate is by being a total BITCH. Is that how Mexican girls are supposed to be portrayed? As firey, hot-tempered super-bitches? I thought maybe after the whole, "we love you as you are, Santana! Being a lesbian isn't the end of the world, Santana!" episode she'd calm down her bitch, but NO. On last night's episode she anonymously complained to the administration about Mr. Shue's lack of passion in teaching Spanish. INSTEAD of addressing him directly as she has had no problem in the past doing, she decided to be underhanded and go over his head.

Also, I know A LOT of people love Brittana but I, for one will call BULLSHIT. BUUUUUUUUUULLLSHIT. Lesbians are awesome and all that. Shit, I've almost never been shy to admit that I find plenty of women attractive but my qualm here is that Santana, again is manipulative. She convinced Brittany that making out with each other was innocent, was not out of love and she pushed her away tons of times. She manipulated Brittany (while she was dating Artie) into believing that their making out wasn't cheating because they were girls. Would someone who truly loves another do that to them? I don't think so. I don't care what orientation you are, that shit DOES NOT FLY. Brittany was more than willing to announce her love for Santana but Ms. Lopez was reluctant to do so. I get it, because she was afraid of her stupid HIGH SCHOOL reputation if it got out that she liked chicks, but hey, for love, wouldn't you do anything? It took her like a season and a half to finally date Brittany in public. If Brittany was my friend, I wouldn't take too kindly to Santana treating her that way.

So what do you think? Do I have Santana all wrong or did I open your eyes to the crappily-written character that she is?

~C.M. xx