The Infamous Mug Cake

If you're on the internet a lot, more than likely you've stumbled upon THE MUG CAKE. It's a cake, made in the microwave, under 5 minutes. Sounds like a lie, right? A delicious lie. But then you see pictures of successful mug cakes like:

From Southern With a Twist.

AND

From Zoom Yummy.

Looks SO legit. I tried about a year or two ago and... failed. It came out gloopy and tasteless. Being a fan of cake and convenience I wasn't going to let this die. Not when other people around the world are having their cake and eating it to... out of a damn mug no less!

I tried again a couple nights ago with box cake mix since I didn't have any kitchen staples on hand for the recipe I really wanted to try. I followed the directions for the box cake mix mug cake and it came out like....

EW! KILL IT WITH FIRE! DON'T LET IT MARRY!

It came out looking like Tyrannosaurus-rex brains. The consistency was BLECH, as in chewy and weird, like cold oatmeal which is disgusting if you've never had to put that in your mouth. I wasn't about to let this die, though. So yesterday I went out and bought the ingredients needed for this particular recipe. I even bought a new can of Baker's Joy. Rolled up my sleeves, donned my apron. I followed it to a tee. And it still came out as gloop. I did some research and some people (and vegans) tried the same recipe without any eggs. DUH. OF COURSE. Have you ever cooked eggs in a microwave? They come out with a weird consistency. Plus, by cutting out the egg you also cut out the (slim) likelihood of getting Salmonella. This is why you don't eat raw cookie dough or cake batter. Here's how my mug cake came out without the egg:

CHOCOLATE, GET IN MY MOUF.

It actually tasted like cake... or more like a brownie-type cake. That white stuff is whipped icing I put on it while it was still hot. I was too excited to really let it cool. Next time I'll probably put Cool Whip and strawberries on top. If you wish to take on this endevor here's the recipe from Instructables. Note: The recipe on the site and recipe in the Instructables YouTube video differ slightly. I used the one from the site.

5-Minute Chocolate Cake
adapted from Instructables

• coffee mug
• 4 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 4 tablespoons sugar
• 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa
• 2 tablespoons whisked egg  Don't do it unless you want plasma-fied puke.
• 3 tablespoons milk
• 3 tablespoons oil
• splash vanilla or other flavoring 
• 3 tablespoons chocolate chips

Mix all ingredients in together, following the order of the list EXCEPT for the chocolate chips. All mixed? YOU SURE? NO FLOUR UNMIXED? Okay, now you can add in the chocolate chips. It says three tablespoons but really you can add how ever much you want. I also added a sprinkle of instant coffee in because I like coffee and I'm a responsible adult, thank you very much. Also, I find that a FORK is best to use, or even a tiny spatula, that way flour won't get stuck on. Microwave it for 2 minutes and 30 seconds depending on how high your microwave goes, might take less, might take more. My microwave has one setting: OBLITERATE. After that, you eat it! The mug cake... is not a lie.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Stay excellent, until next time.

~C.M.