I'm lonely. Again. And I absolutely hate it. You'd think that growing up alone, with no siblings would condition me into always being by myself. It seems like it's almost the opposite. I like to be noticed. I like attention. Now, I'm not saying that I like to be a spectacle or that I like being overdramatic in order to elicit a response... I just like feeling special sometimes. Is that really such a bad thing? Is it selfish of me, or just human?
All I'm certain of is just how shitty I feel. I'm always conflicted. Always at odds with myself. I feel like a brat, and I feel justified. I simply just want hugs and kisses. I want romance. I want a pair of arms to run to when I'm scared, or just when I'm feeling dejected and shunned from the world. I would love to feel safe again.
No one ever said this would be easy.
~C.M. xx
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