SHIT THAT ANNOYS ME: Nomophobia

Today at school after my BCIS class, which is one of the most mind-numbing courses I've ever taken, I passed by a bulletin board and a report on NOMOPHOBIA was pinned to it. I stopped to skim it. If you're wondering, nomophobia is the faux-scientific term for the fear of losing one's mobile (phone). Silly. After watching Glee and New Girl I stuck around to watch the local news and they did a story (if you can call it that) on this very subject! What a damn coinkidink, y'all. If you'd like to watch it and rot some brain cells and marvel at some of the biggest hair this side of El Rio Grande you can click on this:

CALL ME CRAZY but this all sounds like a bunch of bullshit. If I feel any anxiety over losing my phone it's because 1. it's expensive to replace and mostly 2. it'd upset my parents. My dad's even teased me for having my phone on me all the time. It's his own fault, anyway. My father is MEXICAN and high-strung. He NEEDS to know where I am at all times and freaks out whenever I don't answer my phone. His default thinking leads him to believe I'm in peril at all moments that I'm not within his sight. Oh, and I guess I'm 5 years old too. Bah.

Stay excellent, you guys.

~C.M. xx

SHIT THAT ANNOYS ME: Santana Lopez

Yeah, yeah, I watch Glee, let's get ALLLL those giggles out now. Are you done? Okay. So for my second (I think it's second?) installment of SHIT THAT ANNOYS ME I've decided to blog about a fictional character, Santana Lopez of Glee. I originally planned on posting about this right before the (spoiler alert) episode in which everyone finds out Santana is a lesbian and Finn, of all people makes her realize that she doesn't have to be alone in her struggle and for one lone moment we're lead to believe that the bitch has a heart. Don't get me wrong, Naya Rivera is probably the sweetest person, and hell can she sing, but the way her character has been written rubs me all kind of wrong.

If I remember correctly, Santana is supposed to be Mexican. Naya is partially of Puerto Rican descent for starters. Her Spanish... is not that great. To me, if one is going to portray a Mexican character on TV who is supposedly proud of her roots, wouldn't she be able to speak it a bit better?

Santana is mean, vindictive and manipulative. It's like the only way she can communicate is by being a total BITCH. Is that how Mexican girls are supposed to be portrayed? As firey, hot-tempered super-bitches? I thought maybe after the whole, "we love you as you are, Santana! Being a lesbian isn't the end of the world, Santana!" episode she'd calm down her bitch, but NO. On last night's episode she anonymously complained to the administration about Mr. Shue's lack of passion in teaching Spanish. INSTEAD of addressing him directly as she has had no problem in the past doing, she decided to be underhanded and go over his head.

Also, I know A LOT of people love Brittana but I, for one will call BULLSHIT. BUUUUUUUUUULLLSHIT. Lesbians are awesome and all that. Shit, I've almost never been shy to admit that I find plenty of women attractive but my qualm here is that Santana, again is manipulative. She convinced Brittany that making out with each other was innocent, was not out of love and she pushed her away tons of times. She manipulated Brittany (while she was dating Artie) into believing that their making out wasn't cheating because they were girls. Would someone who truly loves another do that to them? I don't think so. I don't care what orientation you are, that shit DOES NOT FLY. Brittany was more than willing to announce her love for Santana but Ms. Lopez was reluctant to do so. I get it, because she was afraid of her stupid HIGH SCHOOL reputation if it got out that she liked chicks, but hey, for love, wouldn't you do anything? It took her like a season and a half to finally date Brittany in public. If Brittany was my friend, I wouldn't take too kindly to Santana treating her that way.

So what do you think? Do I have Santana all wrong or did I open your eyes to the crappily-written character that she is?

~C.M. xx

Now I know

I'm not sure if my parents really had a plan when they had me. I'm also not sure if I was exactly planned. Not that I doubt that my parents love each other or me, I just wonder how things got to where they are now. We do pretty okay, but considering how much success my mom had in her old job as a teacher I think, "Why didn't we save more?"

My mom was a young, Mexican-American woman when she went to college in the 70's for her teaching degree. She got grants and scholarships since women like her were few and far between at that time. These days, being a Mexican-American girl with a B-average you're not going to find many people wanting to give you free money in this state unless you're going to be a damn engineer. My parents were counting on me to have college taken care of with free money. That's not how it worked out. I haven't taken out an ass-load of loans, but I would have liked to not taken out ANY. I worry all the time how I'm going to pay back that debt.

My parents didn't start a college fund for me. I don't exactly resent them for it, I just wish they had. I wish they would have saved for a lot of things. One thing I'm adamant about is starting a college fund for my non-existant children. I don't want them to struggle with money when they should just worry about getting their degree and being a college kid, if that's what they want to do.

I worry about how I'm going to pay for ANYTHING when I'm older... which is why the second I got a job, I opened a savings account. I started a very tiny nest egg. Right now the money is for school next semester and possibly for a down payment on an apartment. I want to plan for everything, which is something I doubt my parents did much of.  Perhaps they did have a plan but they didn't plan incase that plan didn't work out. We've seemed to struggle a bit with money ever since my dad's recording studio went under, something neither he or my parents' credit ever recovered from.

Credit cards, to me, are the craziest thing. Up until maybe five/six  years ago I didn't understand how they or loans worked. The idea of buying something with fake money, then pay it back over a period of time totally didn't register with me. I thought, "Why buy something if you can't afford to pay for all of it?" I can understand how this is helpful when buying a car or a house, but pretty much everything else I think should be bought if you have the funds for it. Financing a laptop? Sorry, but that sounds pretty silly to me. You finance a Ducati, not a Dell.

I plan on saving and investing for my retirement soon. Sounds like a really stupid, hopeful thing to do at 21 but holy shit, have you seen the economic state we're in? There's a good chance that no one, not my job, or the company I work for will take care of that for me so I have to plan my own retirement. A lot of this thinking has been with me for awhile but my economics class is really egging me on to get it done. I may not have a real good idea of what I want to do with my life, but I know I want to be somewhat well off and responsible with my money when I get there.

~C.M. xx

I know what my addiction is

Hi all. This is just an update-y blog post for today. I had some ideas for other blogs, but being so busy sucks the damned life out of me... which is what I'm basically going to bitch about in this post.

I've been working at Insurance Place for over four months now. It hasn't gotten any less sucky. If anything it's probably more sucky. I've been the only bilingual person there for about a month and a half which really blows since like 80% of our customers are Spanish-only. My manager/boss finally hired a new girl who started today. I won't get to see what she's like until tomorrow since I'm at school today. I'm hoping she'll be my ticket out of there. I plan to quit by early November but certain circumstances might force me to wait it out or possibly work harder towards finding another job so I won't have any lapses in employment. It's hard out there for a pimp.

I've thought about doing some research on screenprinting. Most of you probably know my crafty nature and how I like to make stuff and since I love t-shirts it might be a great marriage. I would love to sell things on Etsy again. It would be a great fall-back plan that would bring in SOME kind of money if I end up jobless for an extended amount of time which is very, very possible. I does suck that I have this experience in insurance that I'll probably never use in any other job that I will hold in the future.

I know not many people read my blog but I'm just wondering.. should I update more often? Do you guys care about what concerts I go to? What bitches piss me off at school and/or work? What I think about the failed Qwikster? How much Tumblr sucks? Again, just wondering.

October's been busy and it's kinda good. Life isn't that shitty at the moment. I'm mostly content which is... actually great. I guess I'm already infected with the joyfulness of the impending holidays... and impending peppermint mochas at Starbucks NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM. Welp, I suppose I don't have much else to say for now, but please leave comments or something and let me know what I should blog about and stuff... Kay?

STAY EXCELLENT, LIKE A BOSS.

~C.M. xx

SHIT THAT ANNOYS ME: American Apparel and their BIG Problem

I'm a consumer. As gross as it is sometimes, I do like to shop and I realize that by shopping at certain places it's kind of like I'm promoting the ideals of said store, and it says something about me. But sometimes some things are so good to worry about how douche-y it makes me seem. One of those being... American Apparel.

This is a pretty typical American Apparel ad. They're heavy on the sex appeal and minimalism. It's a hipster store, pretty much. Everything is expensive, but it's also made in the U.S. of A. No overseas sweatshops to keep the prices low. I LOVE their men's t-shirts. Super comfy and they keep well. I still have an American Apparel tee that I bought in '06 with no holes or wear. Anyway, since I'm plus-size I can only wear the men's clothing for the most part and some accesories. Recently American Apparel announced a plus-sized model search and the introduction of a size XL for women, which is about a 12/14, still too small for me, womp womp. Despite not being big enough for chunky me I was excited and continued to read the announcement and noticed some odd... language. For one thing the contest was looking for "The Next Big Thing". The description of the contest went on and on with euphemistic fattie jargon. I thought it was kind of weird and for a moment thought to comment on the story which popped up in my Facebook feed but I'd once pointed out anti-fat promos on Forever 21's page before and it was a headache. I bit my digital tongue... but I wasn't the only one who noticed, and not everyone was so quiet about the sourness this contest left.

This awesome gal named Nancy Upton decided to enter the contest as a joke and as a big fuck you to American Apparel for being pretty insensitive. Her pictures mocked the idea that some people have of fat girls; that they only eat and lounge around. She ended up winning the popular vote. I'm only now blogging about this since she was interviewed on the Today Show this morning and revealed that American Apparel has invited her to see their warehouse in L.A. but only after writing her a smug, arrogant open letter.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

This isn't the first time American Apparel has had it's run-in with strong-minded plus-sized girls. A few years back, model (mostly of the erotic kind) April Flores, was told by American Apparel that 12+ sized women were "not in their demographic". It really upsets me when stuff like this comes up. It's kind of a back-and-forth thing with me since I want to lose weight for several reasons, one being to fit into cute clothes, and the other side that just wishes that retailers would offer more stylish/affordable clothing in my size! I've also been paying more attention to advertising lately and so much of it that's geared to women also comes along with the idea that you should be thin. It's a struggle, but when I feel unsexy and meh I can now look up to chicks like Nancy Upton who don't take shit from NOBODY, not even BIG retailer giants.

-C.M. xx

SHIT THAT ANNOYS ME: Sandals with ankle warmers

I'm probably not the coolest person out there. Well, that's actually a big understatement. I'm not hip or in. I sometimes might act grandma-ish about new things/trends I don't understand and well, those things might annoy me so now I'm going to bitch about SHIT THAT ANNOYS ME. First up are these sandals with ankle-warmer things on them.

What... What does? Who the? THIS IS FUGLY. I apologize deeply if you have these, and sure you can give me shit about being some narrow-minded, no-style bum but these make no sense to me. What the hell is this? The 1920s? Can't show your ankles lest the townspeople think you a slut!

Oh, come on, really? What the fuck? These would be cool if they were apart of some Star Wars outfit, but that's really the only reasonable situation in which it would be OKAY to don these.

Keep your toes fresh and your ankles nice and toasty. I guess? What baffles me more about these shoes, if you can call them that, is that they've been around for awhile yet people CONTINUE TO WEAR THEM. What exactly is the appeal?

-C.M. xx

Baby, if I got you I don't need a parachute

I'm lonely. Again. And I absolutely hate it. You'd think that growing up alone, with no siblings would condition me into always being by myself. It seems like it's almost the opposite. I like to be noticed. I like attention. Now, I'm not saying that I like to be a spectacle or that I like being overdramatic in order to elicit a response... I just like feeling special sometimes. Is that really such a bad thing? Is it selfish of me, or just human?

All I'm certain of is just how shitty I feel. I'm always conflicted. Always at odds with myself. I feel like a brat, and I feel justified. I simply just want hugs and kisses. I want romance. I want a pair of arms to run to when I'm scared, or just when I'm feeling dejected and shunned from the world. I would love to feel safe again.

No one ever said this would be easy.

~C.M. xx

Born this way

Today is the day for Monsters all over the world. If you're a Lady Gaga fan, then you know all about it. Her new single titled, "Born This Way" was released today in the early hours. She's been hinting towards the lyrics and message for months now, so has the hype lived up to the song? I'm currently listening to the track for the second time, and I'm going to say that it's one of those songs that need to grow on me like, "California Gurls". I'm in no way comparing the two songs, so don't jump down my throat just yet. "Born This Way" is surprisingly, a disco track. Even though it's only been out for a few hours, there are already people comparing it to Madonna's "Express Yourself", so much to the point that "Express Yourself" was trending on Twitter. Now, a lot of folks are up in arms over this and are just bitch, bitch, bitching to no end. I felt it was my duty as a fan (not quite to Monster level yet) of Lady Gaga's to say that if the similarities are so obvious to everyone, including me, don't you think that it was intentional? Do you really think Gaga was sitting in her studio, rubbing her paws (pun intended) together and scheming, "Ahahaha! They'll never know what I'm being influenced by!" Of course not. It was deliberate, just as everything else is in the Biz. Man, I sound legit, don't I?

Now, I've also noticed that this has somehow sparked a new flame between Britney Spears' fans and Gaga's. Honestly, I think it's a load of shit. The girls are completely different artists and can't really be compared. The only thing they have in common is that both of their music falls under the "Pop" category, and that's really about all. I've been reading Britney fangirls/boys saying, "OH WELL HOLD IT AGAINST ME SOOOOOO MUCH BETTER." Perhaps in your opinion it's "better", but again, they can't be compared. If you want to know my two cents as far as "Hold It Against Me" here goes: I'd dance to it, but I wouldn't listen to it because I wanted to. I mean seriously, who wrote those lyrics? You feel like paradise? How the hell does one feel like paradise? Don't get me wrong, I love Britney and always have since I was like, 9 but I liked "Radar" and "Womanizer" much better. That's shit I actually have on my iPod.

All I'm saying is calm the hell down, everyone. And for the record, while I kind of like "Born This Way" it's just a decent song. Nothing like "Alejandro" or "Bad Romance". Here's hoping for kick-ass-i-er music from the rest of Gaga's album. Anyway, this has gone on longer than I wanted, but there's my opinion if you were wondering... Which you probably weren't. Stay excellent.

-C.M. xx

If we met tomorrow for the very first time

"For a long time I was in love. Not only in love I was obsessed with a friendship that no one else could touch. It didn't work out, I'm covered in shells. And all I wanted was a simple thing, a simple kind of life. And all I needed was a simple man so I could be a wife. I'm so ashamed, I've been so mean. I don't know how it got to this point.." - "Simple Kind Of Life", No Doubt

Never did I think that this song would ever be relevant to me. Life is crazy like that, huh?

~C.M. xx

I was June and you were my Johnny Cash

Before I get started I would just like to say to all the things and people that have been stressing me out lately: FUCK. YOU. Jesus Christ... Just had to get that out there.

As for stress, I have tons of it. Most of it started Wednesday evening when we learned that my grandmother had broken her hip and was sent to the hospital to await surgery. Yes, this is the same grandmother who had a mini-stroke about a week or so ago. :/ To be honest, I was surprised that my grandma had broken her hip. Most of you might think that's fairly normal for an 80+ year-old woman... but my grandmother is like no other. She's STRONG. She's fallen countless times over the years and never never broken anything. At least, not that I can remember. Either way, this news made my mother very upset. There was crying, per usual. You'll be happy to know that my grandma made it out of surgery "like a champ." See, ma? Everything turned out just fine.

Another stress-inducing thing in my life is my journalism class. A lot of times I forget that I don't need that damned class to graduate, but I still end up taking it seriously... Almost more seriously than I have any other friggin' class. It's ridiculous, but I digress. This week we're allowed to come up with our own topics for stories, and with all the sleep deprivation, and traveling to and fro looking for a fucking used car for days all my neurons are on strike. Honestly, I've been in the crabbiest mood today. So, you can imagine why selecting a relevant topic has been a bit of a challenge for me. Luckily I've come up with a couple. Sent them off to the professor now I just wait for the damn green light so I can procrastinate and do my story last minute.

Some good news, though... I passed my fucking road test because I'm a FUCKING CAREFUL DRIVER. Pssshyeah. I have a paper license at the moment and my picture is GOD-AWFUL. I look like a drunk man with a really pretty wig on wrong. >.< I'd rather look like a raggedy prostitute, like on my state ID.

Two awesome things: Mangoes and The Social Network. If you have a chance, pick up a mango and eat it while watching The Social Network. It ought to be rather epic. Possibly. Maybe. Anyway, yes... I did like that movie. I had rather high expectations for it and I was not let down, like I half-expected to. Justin Timberlake can go to hell though. Just saying.

Alright, enough ranting for now. I'm getting the fuck out now. Bai.

~C.M.

Perfect shapes

Okay, okay... I realize my blog titles rarely have to do with my actual blog posts, but honestly, whatever song is stuck in my head is usually the one from which I'll take lyrics from to form the title of the blog post at that moment. So, anyway... I wanted to share my blog stats with you because they kind of confused the hell out of me.

 (Right click, open in new tab to enlarge)

Not sure  how well you can see it, but I had 22 page views from the US, 2 from Canada... and 12 from... Poland? How do people know about my sad little blog in Poland? If you're in Poland, give me a shout, yeah? Another thing, a shocking 47% of you are using Internet Explorer to view my blog. Hey, guys... I like you and all... but it's time to make the switch. Download Mozilla Firefox here. Anyway, just wanted to show you that. Later, bros.

~C.M. xx

House arrest (A Degrassi rant)

Some of you may know that I watch this show called Degrassi. It's in it's 10th season and while I still like the show, I noticed there were an ass-load of plotholes. So, here I am and I'm gonna friggin' rant about it.

Let's talk about plotholes...

• Towards the beginning of the season, Clare gets lasik eye surgery. People assume she's gotten her boobs done. That stupid slutfaced Jenna hears about this and tells Clare off about not loving her body the way God intended. So, if Jenna is all about being at peace with your body... How come this bitch ends up taking diet pills because she starts to get fat?
• In season 9, Jenna McSlutfaced Whoreson steals Clare's boyfriend, K.C. Alli is Clare's best friend and is pissed about Jenna double-crossing her. She gets pissed again when Jenna accuses Clare of getting plastic surgery. Somewhere in the season, Alli actually starts to hang out with and talk to Jenna, without any real reconciliation. What?
• Another thing about Jenna is that she ends up being PREGGERS by her boyfriend, K.C. Uh... what? We never ever hear about them being sexually active until this. Usually when a relationship is consummated on Degrassi there is a scene or some kind of allusion to the act. 
• Drew is the new big man on campus. He's supposed to be hot or some shit. He also wants to be the new quarterback at Degrassi. These are both titles held by Riley. It comes to light that Riley is a closeted gay boy. Drew uses this information to blackmail Riley. Okay, fine. Then it's revealed that Drew's brother is a transgendered female. Okay, fine. Thing is.. Drew is actually really accepting of his brother. So wait, he doesn't like gay guys, but he embraces the transgendered?
• Wesley is this dorky kid who can never catch a break... So I guess I shouldn't be surprised when I noticed that he's wearing two casts. One on each broken arm. Problem is... I DON'T FUCKING REMEMBER HIM BREAKING HIS ARMS.
• This isn't really a plothole but I have two names for you. Sav and Holly J. For those of you who don't know, Sav is a bumbling idiot who used to be in a rock band and can't hold onto a good girlfriend because he's an IDIOT and because he's scared of his strict Indian mommy and daddy. Holly J is a former stuck-up rich bitch who turns out to be a really awesome, if not overly ambitious chick. In season 9 she is class/school president and does a damn good job of it. She's made to be a leader. In season 10, Sav's dumbass decides to run for school president after finding out that he's kinda popular. Either way, he friggin' wins because people think he got his then-girlfriend pregnant or whatever and then he realizes he's in WAY over his head because he has ZERO leadership skills. So then Holly J becomes the vice president by default and she helps him out with his president shit. Turns out Sav thinks Holly J is a hot piece of NOT Indian ass and is all like, "Hey, I like you. You make me bashful and shit. Let's go out." Holly J, who had just broken up with douchebaggish (but still loveable) Declan, of course declines much to our joy... But Sav keeps it up and Holly J caves after they make a deal that whatever romantic crap happens between them ends after graduation. WHAT?!? It doesn't make sense... AT ALL.

So that's my rant. Regularly scheduled blogging shall continue shortly...

~C.M.

I fake rocked your world

Today, was such a more awesome day that yesterday. I went to a friend's house and just chilled, basically. The weather today was also pretty good. I was outside earlier and it felt amazing. I love, love, love it when it's like 80-65 degrees outside. Maybe I should move somewhere with a more stable and agreeable climate? Ha.

Yeah, I just want to briefly mention how I kind of like being an online recluse. I've basically shrank away from Facebook, only posting sparingly and have dropped Twitter completely. I was also not signing in to Yahoo! Messenger for awhile, but have since picked that back up. I perhaps haven't left social-networking for the best reasons, but it's been kind of nice. I do miss knowing what my friends are up to, but it also pushes me to actually keep up with the people I care about. Also, it's given me time to work on some hobbies, and get some of the things done on my to-do list, which... makes me feel good. LAME! Ha. Ah, that reminds me... since I'm not taking French this semester I need to remember to brush up on it now and then, so remind me, will you?

So, recently I made a list of the movies that I want to watch in the near future. I didn't include Easy A, but I totally should have. I saw the trailer a few days ago and I predict that this will be one of my new favorite movies. It reminds me a lot of Mean Girls, but in a raunchier, not as silly way. Emma Stone seems to be perfectly cast. She's sexy, but can still pull off the-girl-next-door/nerd kind of thing. I absolutely love her delivery of the witty lines written for her character, Olive. Also, Olive... how much cuter of a name could they have picked? The accompanying website, LetsNotAndSayWeDid.com has some fun features that you might want to go check out if you've run out of things to do on the computer. I can't wait until September 17th to watch it! Feel free to join me. :D

~C.M. 

The future freaks me out

Learning to be alone, to be by myself, has been a harrowing and daunting experience so far. There are times when I am at peace with being alone... and of course there are times when I absolutely hate it. I've realized that I'm just scared. My future, my plans... they're fuzzy now. What I once saw so clearly is now so blurry I can't even make it out. What on earth do I do now? What do I want? I'm scared of what the future holds. Maybe I'm going through a bit of a quarter-life crisis. I should be thankful for all of my experiences and all of my mistakes. I should be growing up. I should be accepting of things as they are and stop trying to fix mistakes I never made by running memories over and over in my head.

I've also realized that I always do this when my heart is broken. I always run and hide. I'm still trying to figure out if this is the best method for me... or if I should finally learn to confront all of my problems in life. A lot of times I think that my heart is the smart organ... it's my head that needs to catch up. I remember... when I was about 9, my parents were going through a rough patch. The school counselor pulled me out of class by my mother's request. The counselor talked to me... She said things I didn't really understand, but she assured me that this wasn't my fault and that my parents loved me. What the hell was she talking about? What was this? Immediately after, as I was walking back to class, I saw my mother's friend and co-worker in the hallway. I can't remember what she asked me... but I ran up to her, hugged her and began to cry. My heart knew it. My head didn't understand. My heart knew that my parents were seriously contemplating divorce. To this day, it still baffles me how one part of me saw the truth when the other, typically more rational part of me didn't.

I'm in pain. There is no question about that. I miss him. I wish he would contact me. But, I am learning to take things as they are. I'm learning to let things work out how they will. I need to stop trying to control things, because most things are completely out of my control. I liken this to vomiting. Gross, I know, but stay with me. I hate throwing-up. I always have. I will do everything to avoid it, even though that I know that once I do throw-up I will feel better. The retching, the pain in my throat doesn't seem worth it prior to doing it until the relief afterwards. This pain I'm in now. These tears that fall. They will be worth it when everything is okay. When I'm okay. I can't be scared of the future forever, and I won't be.

~C.M.