Rummaging for answers in the pages

Hi all... My life has remained as mundane as ever. I actually haven't felt all that well to write a blog but I figured now would be just as good a time as ever. I also went about a week without home internet, so that kept me from updating as well. Here's what I've been up to...

 This past weekend my grandmother had a mini stroke. She's fine but it rattled my mother's nerves rather horribly. It's so.. odd, I guess. My mother always gives off this notion of being so strong... It's weird and really unsettling to see her cry. I love my mother so much. She hasn't been at home much. Before she left, I was already missing her. I found it so hard to say that to her. That I missed her. I felt like it would be a bitch-move to do so. I didn't want to be a jerk and make her feel bad for not being around. I decided not to say anything to her. It's a weird situation. I mean, I think she'd be warmed at knowing that although she can be a little annoying sometimes... I truly miss having her at home. I miss just talking to her. I'm still so weak. I need my mother. What really sucked is that my parents weren't talking much in the days leading up to her leaving this weekend. I didn't understand why. I've learned to just shrug it off and not give a shit. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who's realized how precious life is. Yeah, I act like I hate a lot of things... but I'm learning not to take so many things for granted. We really don't know how long we have here. I'm not saying that we should just wait around to die... I'm saying that maybe we should celebrate life more. Let the stupid shit go. Don't get me wrong. I still like to complain about things and talk shit about stuff I don't like... but carrying grudges around is not something I plan on doing anymore. It's simply not worth it. Am I ranting? Yes, very much so.

What else I do? Oh, I watched the Glee season premier. It made me fucking cry. I also don't like many of the characters this time around. I might construct a rant about it later... if I feel up for it. Uh, I saw Easy A finally. I liked it. Maybe not as much as I wanted to, but Emma Stone is undeniably cute and likable. Also saw Machete and Going The Distance a few weeks back. Yep.

I'm guessing that's really all I have to say. Until later...

~C.M.