SHIT THAT ANNOYS ME: American Apparel and their BIG Problem

I'm a consumer. As gross as it is sometimes, I do like to shop and I realize that by shopping at certain places it's kind of like I'm promoting the ideals of said store, and it says something about me. But sometimes some things are so good to worry about how douche-y it makes me seem. One of those being... American Apparel.

This is a pretty typical American Apparel ad. They're heavy on the sex appeal and minimalism. It's a hipster store, pretty much. Everything is expensive, but it's also made in the U.S. of A. No overseas sweatshops to keep the prices low. I LOVE their men's t-shirts. Super comfy and they keep well. I still have an American Apparel tee that I bought in '06 with no holes or wear. Anyway, since I'm plus-size I can only wear the men's clothing for the most part and some accesories. Recently American Apparel announced a plus-sized model search and the introduction of a size XL for women, which is about a 12/14, still too small for me, womp womp. Despite not being big enough for chunky me I was excited and continued to read the announcement and noticed some odd... language. For one thing the contest was looking for "The Next Big Thing". The description of the contest went on and on with euphemistic fattie jargon. I thought it was kind of weird and for a moment thought to comment on the story which popped up in my Facebook feed but I'd once pointed out anti-fat promos on Forever 21's page before and it was a headache. I bit my digital tongue... but I wasn't the only one who noticed, and not everyone was so quiet about the sourness this contest left.

This awesome gal named Nancy Upton decided to enter the contest as a joke and as a big fuck you to American Apparel for being pretty insensitive. Her pictures mocked the idea that some people have of fat girls; that they only eat and lounge around. She ended up winning the popular vote. I'm only now blogging about this since she was interviewed on the Today Show this morning and revealed that American Apparel has invited her to see their warehouse in L.A. but only after writing her a smug, arrogant open letter.

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This isn't the first time American Apparel has had it's run-in with strong-minded plus-sized girls. A few years back, model (mostly of the erotic kind) April Flores, was told by American Apparel that 12+ sized women were "not in their demographic". It really upsets me when stuff like this comes up. It's kind of a back-and-forth thing with me since I want to lose weight for several reasons, one being to fit into cute clothes, and the other side that just wishes that retailers would offer more stylish/affordable clothing in my size! I've also been paying more attention to advertising lately and so much of it that's geared to women also comes along with the idea that you should be thin. It's a struggle, but when I feel unsexy and meh I can now look up to chicks like Nancy Upton who don't take shit from NOBODY, not even BIG retailer giants.

-C.M. xx

OBSESSED: Ramona Flowers

Decided on mostly a whim to look up some Ramona Flowers cosplay and found a cute picture so I thought I'd share them here. I'll try to give credit where credit is due.

I like this one a lot. For one, she's smiling and it's simple. I think it would be even cuter with fishnets but uh, I might be biased on that one.

A little tiny bit NSFW but still pretty cute. The shorts and bra are still pretty Ramona-y. But I saved the best find for last!

Not sure if she managed to get a picture of the completed outfit but upon stumbling onto this adorable-ass girl on Flickr I found links to her blog which is equally if NOT MORE CUTE. She blogged about this costume here. I'm so jealous of all her skills and love her style. Already hooked on her blog even though it puts mine to SHAME-Y SHAME SHAME. *adds to favorites* Anywho, just a couple of other cute Ramona things...

Isn't it cute?! I fucking love it! Too bad it's only in JUNIOR sizes though... which are not plus-size friendly but oh well. If you want to buy this shirt and rub it in my face you can do so here.

This picture also lead me to a new favorite obsession (Crafty Crafty Blogazine). It's so perfect and awesome! This bag is actually for sale on Etsy and I want it so bad but not a-hundred-and-thirty-dollars-bad. Yep, that's how much this fantasmagasmic purse will run you since it's handmade and comes straight from Brazil. There's other colors too which makes it so much harder to say no (or so much easier to say to DIY?)

ENOUGH PICTURES. Okay, I must retire to my bed since I've been exhausted for about two weeks. Don't worry, I'll be bitchi- I mean, blogging about that soon. Until then, stay excellent, bros.

-C.M. xx

SHIT THAT ANNOYS ME: Sandals with ankle warmers

I'm probably not the coolest person out there. Well, that's actually a big understatement. I'm not hip or in. I sometimes might act grandma-ish about new things/trends I don't understand and well, those things might annoy me so now I'm going to bitch about SHIT THAT ANNOYS ME. First up are these sandals with ankle-warmer things on them.

What... What does? Who the? THIS IS FUGLY. I apologize deeply if you have these, and sure you can give me shit about being some narrow-minded, no-style bum but these make no sense to me. What the hell is this? The 1920s? Can't show your ankles lest the townspeople think you a slut!

Oh, come on, really? What the fuck? These would be cool if they were apart of some Star Wars outfit, but that's really the only reasonable situation in which it would be OKAY to don these.

Keep your toes fresh and your ankles nice and toasty. I guess? What baffles me more about these shoes, if you can call them that, is that they've been around for awhile yet people CONTINUE TO WEAR THEM. What exactly is the appeal?

-C.M. xx

OBSESSED: Scooters

I've wanted a scooter for the longest. I can't really remember when I fell in love with them, but I soon had my eyes on a Vespa. The "original" so to speak. It's Italian, so of course it's THE scooter. But do you know how much a Vespa is? They START at $4,700. Which is cheap, for a vehicle but DAMN. I just don't have that money to blow... but now... since I have a job I do have some income and I'll looking into scooters again. :D

So, I've narrowed it down. I either want this Geniune Stella 4-stroke, 147 CC scooter (that'll go about 55-60 mph, if you're wondering)...

This color is called "Avocado Green"... Mmmm... 

OR!

A 2009 Yamaha Vino 125 (CCs), which isn't as retro looking but GEEZE LOUISE, look at that paint job!

It's the prettiest purple-y red I've ever seen. Now, the biggest difference between these two besides the CCs is the price. The Stella is only slightly cheaper than a Vespa at $3,600. The Yamaha Vino is easily the cheapest scooter I've been able to find from a reputable manufacture at $2,899. I've found a nearby dealer who'll sell one of the Vinos brand new at $2,400. I've also got to factor in costs for accessories, classes, license and insurance. BLUH. Honestly, I want the Stella more (it has a cute little hook for groceries or a purse!), but my pocketbook likes the Vino much better.

Thoughts?

~C.M. xx

REVIEW: Nads

Being Mexican is great, I'm not gonna lie. I love the food, the culture, the music (sometimes) and I think that comes across pretty well, but there's one thing I don't like about being a Mexican chick. My 'stache. Yep, if you didn't know, us Mexican girls are prone to getting a little bit hairy on our upper lips. Sure, it's not usually too thick or anything but it's a bit of an annoyance that we probably don't talk about too often.

I've done all kinds of depilatory methods on my upper lip and eyebrows. Waxing, threading, Nair, laser and even electrolysis. If you're wondering, electrolysis is probably the most painful even on the lowest settings and it didn't work too well for me, so no, I do not recommend it. Most effective? Laser, hands down. It is painful, but it's pretty much like waxing; hurts like a mother for three seconds but you don't have to do it again for 2-5 weeks. Anyway, so the point of this post is to tell you about my experience with Nads, which is a water-soluble sugary-molasses mix that you use like wax. Slather it on, put on a cloth strip, rip it off and bam, hair is gone. Or is it?

I read the directions carefully because the last thing I want to do is fuck up when I have to work the next damn day. Use cleansing wipe and dry completely. Okay, did that. Apply gooey stuff in direction of hair growth. Okay, did that. Place cloth on the gel, smooth down 3-4 times in direction of hair growth. Okay, did that. Now rip it off against the hair growth, close to the skin and pull skin taut. Okay, did that... Now, why is my upper lip not completely bare?

I tried several times and only once got some fine hairs to come off, but no real luck. It could be because it was hot today, and hot in my lavatory. Or maybe I put a bit too much. I'm going to use the exfoliating scrub tonight and try again tomorrow to see what the results will be, but for now it's looking like a dud which is a little bit of a shame since I wanted it to work so much. It's water-soluble! It's made from natural ingredients! You don't have to warm it up! It's non-toxic! The cloth strips are re-useable! So many pluses, except... it doesn't work just right... yet.

-C.M. xx

Addict

She stood there, eyes starting to brim with her palm out. The torn condom wrapper sat there, unaware of the firestorm I just knew was about to start. What the hell did it care anyway? It already fufilled it's destiny. Fucking wrapper. It's the tell-tale heart, beating madly to the pulse of the vein in my fiancee's forehead. Though, it's not really the wrapper's fault. I should have just thrown it away NOT at home. Suddenly I realized I had spaced out while personifying the trash extended towards my face. Guilt and regret washed over me momentarily before being replaced with dread again.

"What-", she started.

"I..."

She looked away and  swallowed with much effort like she'd just ingested a golfball. Lowering her hand, averting her gaze she began again,

"When were you going to tell me?"

"I... I'm horrible. Baby... I..."

Her hands twisted into fists and I flinched as she raised them to her mouth,

"I knew it all along."

"I'm sorry. Baby, you gotta-"

"I always knew you were a sex addict."

I blinked. What. What just. Sex addict?

She started towards me, finally crying and struggling to talk through her small sobs,
"I just want you to know that I love you, and we're going to get you help. Okay, honey?"

She wrapped her arms around my middle and before I knew what was happening I squeaked in reply,
"It's just been so hard."

Was I really saying these words? God, I truly am dispicable. How the fuck did she diagnose me as a sex addict? Should I tell her it was just the one time? Just the one girl? Wait a minute... maybe this is a trap...

She pulled away and looked up at me with teary, sincere eyes, "We have an appointment tomorrow with a therapist. My parents tell me that she's great."

Definitely a trap! Wait, did she just admit that one of her parents is a sex addict? I realized my face was wet too and I wondered where those tears were all stored up.

"Okay, baby. I can't believe you understand."

"Of course I understand," She said with a kiss on the cheek.

I. Am. Horrible.

(And that's all I have for now!)

~C.M. xx

In the sun

It's been like a million years since I've posted. I couldn't even remember the last thing I wrote here. I had to go back and read it. Anyway... How've you been? How are the kids? Y'mind if I get come ice cream? Okay, cool... Is this the drawer you keep your spoons in?

Sorry, I'm hungry. I don't even want ice cream I just want chips and salsa. Speaking of which, remember when I said I wanted to lose 40 pounds? Well, I was doing okay, counting calories, weighing myself daily and shit and then, well I got a job so that's all gone out the window for now. I've no idea how much I weigh but my parents SWEAR I've lost weight. I don't know how. I sit all day and let my mind drift in between helping customers. Oh, and I eat crap for lunch. Chicken nuggets, orange chicken, cheese pizza, iced coffee.. I sell insurance, by the way. If you're wondering what that's like... well it's like selling insurance. I'm not going to admit that I hate the job via the internet, but let's just say that this employment has given me an opportunity to figure out what I REALLY want to do. Which is NOT sell insurance. You know what, I'd be okay going the rest of my life never selling anything for commission again. Money doesn't motivate me much. I have an hourly wage already, telling me that if I shaft this person out of 40 dollars of their hard earned money so that I can get a cut of it won't really make me want to charge them 40... How about 10? Is 10 good? No? I'm fired? Okay.

That's really all I've been up to. I did attend A-Kon this year, and it was a lot of fun actually. I thought it'd be lame with the insane amount of people and the fact that I couldn't go all day because of my new job, but it turned out rather nice. I'm pretty excited for Animefest as well, so yaaaaaaaay. If you're wondering how I'm fairing after another "break-up" well, as you can see I'm feeling dandy and this summer has been tons better than last year's.

Not really much else to report other than I was stricken with the urge to write (FINALLY!) and I'll be posting the little bit of what I have so far in a minute. Oh, I should also REALLY change my layout. Would someone like to assist me?

~C.M. xx