My identity

I really should update more often, but I often get inspired late at night and next thing I know I'm crawling into bed. Nyeh. Well, anywho, time for the blog.

As far as my life, not too much has happened. I'm trying to keep positive and I'm really excited about my future. I'm hoping to get an apartment by next fall, but we will see how that goes. I still have quite a bit of research to do before any of my ideas will be finalized. I will say this though, I applied for a job yesterday at a local cupcake bakery! I won't tell you which one it is yet, but I was told to expect a call today.. It's 3pm... Still no call. :( Keep your fingers crossed for me?

Lately in my Mexican-American studies class (which is kicking my ass), we've been talking about Chicanos and how they identify themselves. They are both Mexican and American, yet they are neither one... It got me thinking. What is my identity? On paper, I'm American but I don't really think I'm a traditional American. Racially, I identify as Mexican, but I'm not a traditional Mexican either. In fact, I sometimes feel ostrasized by my own race, and these things that make me different from other Mexicans make me different from other people as well. I'm just so... not conventional? How should I explain... A "traditional" Mexican-American girl of my age enjoys going to parties, she drinks, she likes designer clothes, her favorite movie is Scarface and she tYpeS LiKe DiS!!!1111

I'm not like that at all. I'm straight-edge, I like staying in and watching movies, while I like some designer clothes I'd rather buy something out of Nylon than Vogue, my favorite movie is Constantine and I type mostly correctly. How did I turn out so different? I'm not trying to "bash" girls that act the way I described earlier, I'm just trying to understand how I'm so uncool. I find it really hard to relate to people my age a lot of times. They either think I'm too immature or that I act too grown up. It makes it hard to make new friends. It was easier in middle and high school because I went to a magnet school and everyone there was at least a little nerdy even if they didn't show it.

What makes me different? My mother is the breadwinner of my family, for one. I'm an only child. I like to read and listen to rock music. I like cupcakes and I love baking. My favorite things include vampires, rainbows, skulls, hearts, stars and stand-up comedy. I'm not really punk or emo anymore. I'm not a hipster either... At least I don't think I am. I'm not a complete anime freak... I don't watch it enough. 

So what am I?